exhausted/vent/ramlbe/bjnk;n;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

so sick of holding things together.
who am I?
why am I depending on you for my happiness?
i use to be so Okay with spending the night alone with a book
where is my independence?

i lost another scholarship today...the big one
college drop out?
wonderful

i want to cry
im so far away from God

I WANT MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT BACK
i am so broke and that scares the crap out of me

i am so uncomfortable with myself

thoughts thoughts thoughts
they wont stop!!!
they are so fast and i cant organize them

ok yeah lexi's room is haunted
i want to start a new life somewhere so bad

what happens when you have no one to pick you up
i know lexi is getting so tired of me talking about how crappy life is
 i know that annoys her

i am so lonely
i am so tire of being responsible on my own

why wont my phone ring!!
what is wrong with me?
i am so desperate and that kills me
i am so selfish
i have a good life
and i am venting about boys and not having enough money to go to the beach

the world can bring you down
it hurts falling off the mounatin
i want to cry
i am losing all hope
3rd guy and he doesnt even like me
WOW. talk about low self esteem.
i want to be skinny. i want attention. i want to be obsessed
i want to be who i use to be

i want to hate drinking
i love drinking
i love church
i love god

i wish my sister would come home
i hate feeling like this and i hate work
and i hate rent and bugs and boys

and everyone that is in love
most of all
i hate that i hate.
it hurts. 

chocolate wins evertime i hate you too
is this making me stronger
i hate being home aloneeeeeeee

I FEEL LIKE A NEED A MILLION HUGS