Day 1

So today is day 1 of 35 without Stacey.
Honestly I didn't think for a second it would be a problem for me, miss independent, miss i love being alone, miss I have tons of things to occupy my time with. Yeah I knew I would be sad, but gee this is a total shocker- Day 1 and I'm already having withdrawals. I know it is only going to get harder so I'll save all my depressing emotions for later.

In order to not go insane I have told myself to stay busy. Spend time with the girls. Finish some art projects. Get motivated. Set some goals to focus on through the month. Eat healthy and exercise. And most importantly, Blog Blog Blog.

Keep Positive.

Dear Colorado,

I know we haven't met but please be good to my boyfriend while he is with you. he really likes you. i am giving up christmas and new years with him so please send him back fast. hope to meet you soon.
-the girlfriend in Tennessee

unperfected

Can you bring me the sunset in a cup?
You can leave it on the nightstand
next to the unfinished homework
and half read novels.

Because a celebration is in store.
We've done it.
We have reached the level
of swiftly flowing anticipation.

The butterflies are here to stay,
even through the dead winter.

therapy mondays

a long winding path of playing roles.
chuck taylor's on.
4 new jcrew cardigans
taking pieces of lifetimes, friends and icons.
going through phases in life
ups and downs
turn arounds
new crowds

when will we find consistency?
loving each moment
hating each moment
changing perspectives-
the only way to get through life
falling in love
forgetting loves
taking pretty pieces of phases
to create one true soul
with a loving hippie heart
and a hodge podge of knowledge

stil undefined
with a taste of my own medicine.

cold sweats

Clock work calculations.

Perfect Predictions.
I can feel it slowly
inching its way in.
Dizzy footsteps. Cold sweats. Shaky hands.
Beating, thumping, pounding,
heart.
Body check 1....2....5....19.

"I'm back."

Control- Lost.
Pride- Lost.
Addiction- Found.

Hold on Strength and Happiness.
Miss Sassy is looking for you.

Winter worries.
I should know better
even with blurred vision.

Baby, it's cold outside

mother earth

for a spilt second, you didn’t realise this wasn’t a human eye, right?


“all things share the same breath - the animal, the tree, the human… the perfumed flowers are our sisters; the deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers. the rocky crests, the juices of the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and people - all belong to the same family… what are people without animals? if all the beasts were gone, humans would die from a great loneliness of spirit. for whatever happens to the animals soon happens to the people… all things are connected like the blood that unites us. teach your children what we have taught our children, that the earth is our mother.”

retrospect glow

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
- from Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson

how long will it take

questioning.

looking.

searching for truth, 

searching for answers.

will I find it in you?

depression diagnosis

excerpt from Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti

For there is no friend like a sister,
In calm or stormy weather,
To cheer one on the tedious way.
To fetch one if one goes astray
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen wilst one stands.

Saturday Tea

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
— Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières

sideways rain

it is impossible to please everyone
please yourself first

true strength

Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do.  but to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, now that's true strength. You got this Sis, I'm right here.

kinda like the tea cups

the only way to begin
is to let love in
from head to toe
love from your core
give all you've got
and then give more

love until your high on love
and butterflies live inside you
love until you feel drunk off love
and your head is spinning with emotion
love until you become lovesick
and you are unable to act normally


love until you feel like you are riding the tea cups
yeah...kinda like that.
because it is a phenomenon
to be able to feel that intensity.

Scratch That

Forever is a long time.

Forever can be a really really short time.
You gotta make the most of it.
Go to Paris.
Walk around in your underwear.
Dance in the rain.
Take chances.
Pick up a hitchhiker.
Laugh at yourself.
Search your soul.
Love God.

And this is what it feels like

And this is what it feels like
to be open to you,
open to feeling.
Open to experiencing all things new
by allowing opportunities to flood in.
Drowning the fear of uncertainty
and riding the wave of bliss
with each and every kiss.


It feels like I'm running blindfolded
as my heart takes the lead
with out stretched arms
and freedom blowing through my hair.

It feels free
with no barriers
or filters.
Just naked in truth.

It feels like the breeze from the Dollywood swings.
And the nerves from Adventure Mountain.
Walking on that stupid tiny rope.
Trying not to look down,
just right at you-
keeping my balance.

But I'm falling as fast as the meteors do
trusting that you are falling too
because that's really all that matters anyway.

Breaking Walls, Building Bridges

Dear Emotions,

well you did it. You made me ignore any logical sense last night. You got my heart to override my mind. You destroyed my nicely built walls protecting me from the glass "let's just be friends" splinters that dig themselves into my soul. You let secrets surface, now I'm vulnerable... and open with an unguarded heart.

And I want to thank you.

a longing desire

Hold on sis

an evening in august

Halfway between high noon and sunset.
Halfway between the listening and daydreaming.

She's looking for love...

The way she always does, laced up sneakers, drenched in Halloween, pretending to be occupied by paisley colored thoughts.

And there it is, that familiar feeling
sweaty palms, butterflies, undeniable attraction.

A splash of adrenaline quickly turns into a wave of clarity.
She was falling...for him...head over heels.

Just in time for the stars to watch.

help me find the strength

She needs you to be strong.

a song for you

The very first time I heard this song I thought of you. And still think of you every time I listen to it. You are my joy. Your soul really does light my day. You are so much stronger than you think.
Don't worry I'll help you find your strength. It's gonna get easier on you. I pinkie promise.

Don't fear the morning
It's okay, it's okay
Hurt weighs heavy
It's okay, it's okay
When your body's cold and shaking
I'll still you Darlin', still you
When your body's old and aging
I'll heal you Darlin', heal you

Your soul lights the day
I'm on my way, I'm on my way
When you're so filled with pain
I'm on my way, I'm on my way
And Maybe, Baby it's just me

Look out the window
Past the Pines
Through the rain
Oh skies will open, let sun shine
On your face
When your mind is old and fading
I'll heal you Darlin', heal you

Your soul lights the day
I'm on my way, I'm on my way
When you're so filled with pain
I'm on my way, I'm on my way
And Maybe, Baby it's just me

In a matter of, in a matter of days, we'll find love
In a matter of, in a matter of days, we'll find love
And Maybe, Baby that's just love
And Maybe, Baby it's just me

Your soul lights the day
I'm on my way, I'm on my way
When you're so filled with pain
I'm on my way, I'm on my way
And its gonna get easier on you
And its gonna get easier on you
And its gonna get easier on you
Now it's got to get easier on your soul

Soul, soul, soul
Your soul lights the way, lights the way
I'm on my way
And Maybe, Baby it's just me

assignments

It is now clear to me that I like assigments that are so vibrant and wonderfully easy like living and loving. Just leaving simple notes to encourage others and maybe give them lost hope. Crossing my fingers for a ripple effect. Having faith that they too will want to pay it forward, taking the assignment in thier own hands to give others hope, a smile, some light.
Spreading joy to the world by creating breathtaking things in assignments.

In the same way the ocean gives the assignment of breathing deeply, kissing instructs us to stop thinking.

It feels good to be with you

"I'm glad you're in my life."- Stacey

Nature as a great teacher

Living close to the natural world can promote spiritual understanding, a harmonious life, and a greater sense of purpose, meaning and well-being.

Not sure where I read that fact but I definitely agree with it. I believe that spending time in the mountains brings me closer to God. I am so appreciative of his handiwork. Everyday I look at the sky and admire his talented painting. I like to think of God as an artist. The mountains molded with his own hands like clay and the sky is just his giant canvas.

"The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows his handiwork." -Psalm 19:1

Stacey

outdoor lover, art partner, english tea, cheese and apples, spontaneous, young at heart, thoughtful, road biker, snow boarder, charming, South African, go with the flow kinda guy, mumford and sons, sticker fanatic, gentleman, hilarious, ambitious, loving beyond belief, mine.

one line

It can be very dangerous to see things from someone else's point of view without the proper training.

Don't panic, God is in control.

"All Nature is but Art unknown to thee;
All Chance, Direction, which thou canst not see;
All Discard, Harmony not understood;
All partial Evil, universal good:
And spit of Pride, in erring Reson's spite,
One truth is clear: WHATEVER IS, IS RIGHT."

From The Rape of a Lock by Alexander Pope

so there's this guy...

and i'm falling for him.

Eat. Pray. Love.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
— Elizabeth Gilbert

leaving letters

Sometimes the paths we take are long and hard, but remember: those are always the ones that lead to the most beautiful views.

cloudy

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;

and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Dream Big

Laugh Loud & Think Outside the Box. I've heard it keeps the butterflies alive longer...

Leaving my Mark

I am in the process of becomming a Guerilla Artist...
So I am going to take time away from the blogging world to get out and leave my mark in other ways. Gotta keep the creative flow moving. Might bring Miss Sassy along.

I am ready to enter into someone's daily routine in unexpected ways...
[hoping for a ripple effect]

Banksy

to live by

tid bits

I'm still scared of the dark.
I do not like sleeping alone.
Lately I have been sleeping with books,
they are bad sleeping partners.
I like letters.
I like being alone but I hate being lonely.
I eat too much pizza. I could use a hair-cut.

sidenote about the polo horse

i would much rather wear goodwill than polo

clothes are just something to cover your body

also, purses. crazy expensive purses. i don't get it. a bag is a bag.

conformity...sheesh

the philosophy of creation (or how to make anything)

Do something.
Do something to it.
Do something else to it.
~Jasper Johns

be the change

Take to heart these words from Albert Einstein--arguably one of the smartest change masters who ever lived: "All meaningful and lasting change starts first in your imagination and then works its way out. Imagination is more important than knowledge."

the mountain of life

Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.
-Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

So Miss Sassy and I have this "mountain theory of life." As good things happen in our lives, we imagine ourselves climbing a mounatin untill we reach the top, the ultimate high in our life, the climax, when it seems like life doesn't get much better. Sometimes we are not on top for long. Sometimes we are lucky and stay on top for a week, a month, 2 months. But there is always a point we are pushed off, trip, or just dive down head first. And BAM! hit rock bottom.
The world will knock you down so surround yourself with Jerry's and Lillie's. They will always be able to help mend you back together.
Thank you, God, for placing people in our lives to pick us up and get us back to the top.
lane, tannner, nick, clark & shane- i'm so glad Miss Sassy and i met you.
this week has been a fun hike

The Sun has got my Shine

i want a quiet mind tonight.
one that is at peace
despite the gas station lines,
past due bills and fuzzy ambiguity.

enough is enough
the joke is on us

for once, mr. moon, you're by yourself.
don't take it personal though.
to study the depth of human behaivor
under the unmentioned circumstance is
just not safe.

not tonight...maybe tomorrow...

Recovery

Cold Dark Shower
Satin Night Gown
Grilled Cheese & Tomato Soup
H2O

protected by a rib cage

exhausted/vent/ramlbe/bjnk;n;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

so sick of holding things together.
who am I?
why am I depending on you for my happiness?
i use to be so Okay with spending the night alone with a book
where is my independence?

i lost another scholarship today...the big one
college drop out?
wonderful

i want to cry
im so far away from God

I WANT MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT BACK
i am so broke and that scares the crap out of me

i am so uncomfortable with myself

thoughts thoughts thoughts
they wont stop!!!
they are so fast and i cant organize them

ok yeah lexi's room is haunted
i want to start a new life somewhere so bad

what happens when you have no one to pick you up
i know lexi is getting so tired of me talking about how crappy life is
 i know that annoys her

i am so lonely
i am so tire of being responsible on my own

why wont my phone ring!!
what is wrong with me?
i am so desperate and that kills me
i am so selfish
i have a good life
and i am venting about boys and not having enough money to go to the beach

the world can bring you down
it hurts falling off the mounatin
i want to cry
i am losing all hope
3rd guy and he doesnt even like me
WOW. talk about low self esteem.
i want to be skinny. i want attention. i want to be obsessed
i want to be who i use to be

i want to hate drinking
i love drinking
i love church
i love god

i wish my sister would come home
i hate feeling like this and i hate work
and i hate rent and bugs and boys

and everyone that is in love
most of all
i hate that i hate.
it hurts. 

chocolate wins evertime i hate you too
is this making me stronger
i hate being home aloneeeeeeee

I FEEL LIKE A NEED A MILLION HUGS

caught in between

Eluvium - The Motion Makes Me Last

How does the motion make me last
I shuffle forward and I’m back
I can be questioning my thoughts
But not looking for what I lack

What is it that has my mind so hypnotized
When shapes are for looking at
And their colors create my mood
I’m a vessel between two places I’ve never been

To seek a further more formal design
Creation is a pathogen
What’s more than subtle in these lines
I know you’re looking forward to them

What is it that has my mind so hypnotized
Evolving on a thought that you’ve half realized
Life is real only then when I am… I am surprised
Shapes are for looking at
And their colors create my mood
I’m a vessel between two places I’ve never been

$18 of Taco Bell and Yellow Cake

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.

Vanilla Dreams

Drenched in vanilla,
waist-deep in thought.
Just a hopeless romantic,
capturing life in snapshots.

Eyes of dreams
a vision of Love,
the kind the world finds obscene,
the kind people let go of.

But you can't give up.
and you can't let go.
It takes time
for Love to grow.
And it takes Heart
to touch another's soul.

Keep Hope through silence.
Keep the butterflies alive.
Practice Patience,
it's the only way they'll survive.

i bought a new dress

take me out tonight
where there's music and there's people
and they're young and alive
i want to see life
with you by my side

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Bonnarooooooooooo! It is coming! This year Miss Sassy is going with me. Finally, she will understand why  conversation always leads to Bonnaroo.

my conclusion

So i guess you were one of those people who were supposed to walk into my life, teach me a lesson, then walk away.

Don't Dismiss Your Dreams

All 2,175 miles. We're doing it Dad.

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up.

If a guy punches you he likes you.
Never try to trim your own bangs
and someday you will meet a wonderful guy
and get your very own happy ending.

Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

Let Go

concentrate on the things you have the power to change and let go of the things that are beyond your control.

The Rescue Squad

Always there in times of need...

It happens...

Emotional.
Over thinking.
Dramatic.

Gah. I'm being such a girl today...

The Gift That Keeps Giving

God,
Thank you for giving me the mountains to run to, to escape, to feel loved...

Ecclesiastes 9:4

As long as we are alive there is HOPE.

Sprees and Cigars

I can see us traveling together. Visiting town after town with our favorite snack foods. Taking lots of pictures and listening to obscure bands. Getting lost in conversation and finding out what life is all about.

 I'm ready when you are, but...we're gonna need more cheese and crackers...

Collecting Dust

(shoving a finger in my face with a wad of dust on it)
Miss Sassy: "look"
Alice: "ew gosh, I need to clean my room"
Miss Sassy: "it came off your Bible..."

Yesterday, I came to the realization of how far away I am from God. And how long it has been since we've communicated. And even how long it has been since I have been to church. Just a huge dissapointing dust collector. It's time to make some changes.

Off Trail Hiking

This was such a fun experience for me. Miss Sassy and I were not prepared at all- both of us wearing tevas. But we are always up for a spontaneous adventure! A steep verticle climb up, we made it to the top. The falls were beautiful with sun shining through the water. Climbing down was a bit difficult though. Miss Sassy had a nasty fall down a slick rock which knocked my feet out from under me, causing me to land on her. She decided to loose the sandals and hike the rest barefoot. Moments later, I trip over a boulder and fall head first onto another rock.

Several bruises, insect bites, and a swollen ankle but it was all worth it. Can't wait to bring the pops!

"The entire area between Newfound Gap Road and Fort Harry is one large boulder field through which a small stream runs directly from the cliff. Many paths zigzag through the field but no single trail leads up to Fort Harry. The best course is to cross to the right side of the stream and proceed up the slope either by scrambling or picking a way through the boulders. Away from the stream, the boulders are less concentrated and the hiking is a bit easier. Fort Harry is only about a quarter mile away..."

Stay True

"To be nobody but yourself
in a world that's doing its
best to make you somebody
else, is to fight the hardest
battle you are ever going to
fight. Never stop fighting."
- E.E. Cummings

 Follow God and be your own person. Never conform to other's standards or compromise your beliefs. Find out what God wants you to do and stay true.

Smile, Just Because

patience, the art of hoping.

enjoy the anticipation, Alice.

Tell Me How to Get to Your Heart

I had fun with you last night

and I'm thinking about you a lot today.

I like what we got going on.

Lonely Petals

He loves her,
He loves her not...

So she picked up the pieces
and began to weave a beautiful tomorrow.

(you are gonna be okay sis, promise)

Trying to Learn

Never expect, never assume, never ask and never demand.

Just let it be.

Because if it's meant to be,

it will happen the way you want things to be.

Age 21

I want to be inspired, intuitive, original and unique.

I want to be passionate, true to my feelings and uniquely authentic.

I am sensitive, expressive and spiritual.

I have problems with being social.

Under stress I am moody and overly emotional.
I am growing and still learning about myself at age 21.

Vampire Weekend

if you have a sister

if you have a sister
than you know how it feels
to share your last piece of cake,
your brand new shoes,
and tears from heartache.

if you have a sister
than you understand the word sacrifice
nothing is worth more than her,
not even your own life.

if you have a sister
than you are trusted to understand
when Mom and dad don't.
she needs you to hold her hand.

if you have a sister
than you know what it's like
to lay on the beach for a weekend get-away
just because one of you had a bad day.

if you have a sister
than you know.
you know what's on her mind
before she even drops a line.
you know her deepest gut feeling
even if you are miles apart,
because if you have a sister
you know what its like to share one heart

Stomach, meet Butterflies

You can stay as long as you want.

Saturday Cupcakes

Today is the day to  laugh until your stomach hurts, drink coffee, think of new ideas,  get lost in a book, turn off the t.v., compliment your mom, take a walk, stare at the clouds, kiss your boyfriend, believe in more, bake a cake, let go, pick wild flowers, plan a road trip, rock out, take Polaroids, dream of trips to Greece, eat fresh fruit, get drunk with your girlfriends, listen to the Beatles, try yoga, practice patience, paint your nails, feel great, finish something unfinished, doodle, buy new shoes, believe you can. Do it all. 

[side note]

i wanna make out with you in the library

Your Lips Give You Away

you kissed me
called me beautiful
held my hand
while you slept beside me...
and found your way
into my thoughts.

and I can't help but wonder...

I Promise

I will make a commitment to fulfilling my dreams...
no matter what I may be feeling...
and I will dare to move forward
in the face of life's challenges.

I will believe that what God
has placed inside me
is superior to the mountains
that stand in my way.

I will never do things the same old way
just because I like to play it safe.
I will be daring and courageous
and refuse to allow fear to contol my actions.

I will share your hopes
and dreams and desires.
I will believe
that you can turn your dreams
into reality.

I will stop getting upset
when things go wrong
and my world is not what
I want it to be.
I will find joy in life's challenges
and risks and hopes.

"as long as I get somewhere"

Fingers Crossed

I may have found a new reason to jump out of bed in the mornings...

[Find Love in Everything]

i promise it's out there...

Summer Travel List-

• bonnaroo in june (a given)
• see O.A.R. at least 3 times
• go to Boston and hang out with Parker House
• beach road trip with the gals
• visit Asheville!
• explore Savannah, GA
• bike the VA creeper @ Trail Days
• camp in Hot Springs, NC

Please Please Please, God, let me accomplish all this.

my happy place

Andrews Bald

Everyday is Earthday

Precycle. Downcycle. Upcycle. Recycle. Free-cycle. E-cycle.
Do Your Part!
Chill out when you drive. studies have shown that 30% of the difference in MPG is due to driving habits alone. anticipate your starts and stops, and drive the speed limit. put on the green arrows or chopin and unwiiiind.
Enable the "energy conservation" setting on your computer.
Stop your paper junk mail. A nonprofit called 41pounds will contact dozens of direct mailers on your behalf to remove your name from their mailing lists.
Buy local. Shipping burns fuel. A 5-pound package flown across the country creates 12 pounds of CO2 (3 ½ pounds if shipped by truck).
Eat less meat. If you’re already a vegetarian, you’re saving at least 3,000 pounds of CO2 per year compared to meat eaters. Poultry is slightly less greenhouse gas intensive than beef, but we should all try to eat vegetarian a few times a week.

Check out PlanetPals to learn how to be a friend to Earth.

"The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." (Genesis 2:15)

Irksome

pulled from  Indexed

When You Hurt,

I hurt...

Is it time to runaway again?

We still have each other.

grass isnt always greener on the other side

but it sure is different...

my life isn't the same without you. (a given.)
i still don't know how i feel about it... i just don't know.

get on the bus

find your happiness.

Tonight's Epiphany

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”
-Charles Schulz

smart man

"Life is like a bicycle, in order to keep your balance you must keep moving."

albert einstein

on a search for hope

via corkhope 

Romantics

Romantics of the 18th Century believed that poetry is the direct expression of the soul.
And that artistic expression was a mirror of the artist's inner feelings.

True.

I paint what feel, not what I see.

I write what I believe.
Sometimes I feel like breaking cupid's bow...

Painting by Pompeo Batoni, Diana Breaking Cupid's Bow, 1761

Butterflies Die

Smiles with no roots,
a theme of deception.
Bleeding souls and confused guts,
pain distracted by sunshine and music.
But emotional attachment always wins.

Resort to pills for happiness.
Everyone is watching, waiting
for you to fall.
Keep strong.
Repair your foundation with dreams,
your family name and roller coasters.

Still... you cant shake the feelings.
You're fated to pretend.
Crippled inside,
just a prisoner of a heavy soul.

the world at your fingertips

My barefooted little sister,
hippie yet to be.
dreamer, Lover
She wears her heart on her sleeve.

big round eyes.
seeing more than most.
the beauty on the inside,
the heart and soul.
she teaches peace unintentionally
by loving unconditionally

and with a smile,
she waits
for her make~believe ending
to become her true fate

hold on

it's like this

you color inside the lines
i color outside the lines

i am messy
but you are clean

you see in black and white
i like mix matched colors

but together i think we could possibly make a masterpiece

i think

If you take my hand, I'll run away with you...

or maybe from you...

Where would you go?

i'd go visit the depression.
i'd have drugs in woodstock.
i'd fall in love in the eighties.
i'd rollerskate in the nineties.
and i'd go all the way back to fifties and steal some clothes :)

Love Part 2

follow the music

i listen to my words

but they fall far below,

i let my music take me

where my heart wants to go...

the truth

"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonley, you can just go to the record store and visit your friends."-Penny Lane

Blessed

Can't wait to see you guys.

"'Truth is... everybody's gonna hurt ya. You just have to decide who's worth suffering for.' -Bob Marley"

Looking Forward

good things are about to happen.

Listening to O.A.R.'s new album!!

3 things

to do in the rain:

1. nap

2. bathe

3. jump on a trampoline

that go together:

1. coffee, cream, sugar

2. saturday, sun, daiquiri

3. mind, body, soul

that inspire me:

1. my sister

2. music

3. artists

Listening to: Kings of Leon

miss these friends

funfetti nights

"Teeny Tiny seeds,
trinkets of
yesterday...

mood rings and
broken chains,
pennies painted red,
ticket stubs from
nights well spent...

Broken thoughts and
stories,
lyrics to unfinished love songs,
Beginnings with blurry
make~believe endings....

Memories....
Feel the love....
let 'em grow...."

One Door Closes..Another Opens

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly.

"I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." Revelation 3:8

look past my dirty chucks

You think I'm wishy washy,
complicating and confusing.
Consistant decoding of my behavior
has got you choosing.

Should you continue to make logic of my creative mess,
causing you to be cautious, worry and stress?

Or guard your heart
and guard your pride,
break our connection apart
and push me to the side?

But I want you to know I'm falling hard,
I'm falling fast.
Praying you let down your guard
so this feeling can last.

I realize I'm no better than the rest.
I'm loosing sleep
competing with the best of the best.
but I take a risk, I take the leap.

and wait for you
to be on the same page with me.

dear alice,

Please find your words soon.
you need sleep.

"...hopes are for jokers."- JH

I got a case of the mondays.

Psalms 37:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart."

It all comes down to fear...

Do something that scares you!

Step outside of your Comfort Zone-the thought of trying something new  can cause your heart to race. At the threshold of every new experience looms the possibility of failure, rejection, or injury, leaving you wrestling with (or simply giving in to) a healthy dose of fear.


The simple truth- fear robs us of our happiness.
causing us to settle for far less than we're capable of.
It introduces negative emotions and conflicts that unravel our relationships

 Fear. the reason why so many of us stop believing in ourselves, stop pursuing our dreams, stop being true to ourselves. And none of us are immune to it.
It all comes down to the Comfort Zone. It all comes down to Fear.
Find your strength. Step outside your comfort zone. take a risk.



I like you.

Question:

What's the sense of working hard if you never get to play?

Miss Sassy and I will be traveling for a couple of days.

my refuge

Spent the day with these 2 girls.They mean the world to me.

I wish everyone had a sister like them.

Backstage Brownies

Backstage, a local hippie shop, was selling brownies today.
and yes, I bought one, along with hookah coals.

First night of spring break, tonight shall be fun.

Misery Loves Company

This about says it for love this week. Miss sassy and I have not been so lucky in this department lately. No, we are not being dramatic. We just want to enjoy our misery for a little while. We are aloud to do that, right? I think we are entitled to a couple of days of patheticness. Tomorrow we promise to start fresh and welcome love with open hearts.

secrets

You make me nervous.
And sometimes I forget to breathe when I'm around you.

I am beggining to like John Mayer.

Passionate people inspire me.

I miss the simplicity of highschool.

"we're not alcoholics..."

"we just like to drink"

-M Slice

Dear God,

I know I can do better. Help me want to be better.
Love,
your kiddo A

Together,

We'll Be Okay.

roadtrip therapy

Yesterday Miss Sassy & I had another successful roadtrip.
Aroung 2:00 AM the night before we realized we had nothing to do with our saturday so why night travel to Young Harris, Georgia to watch our friends play tennis. We both had a week from hell so whenever that happens we find it very therapeutic to run away. So that's what we did.

We started the trip off with a caramel frappuccino, a white chocolate mocha and coffee cakes. We spent the entire 4 hours talking about every aspect of life. Family problems, dreams, death, school, hiking, God, world issues, the weather, boys, etc.

We make it to the college in what seemed like 20 minutes. Trying to find the tennis courts we roam/tour the campus and then... After talking to Jake in the art building, a proffesor, two parents watching a baseball game, a police officer, a random student (looked like a golfer), gas station workers and thad & 2 of his friends...we learn that the match is about 15 minutes at a nearby highschool. No biggie, we had time to kill, so we just spent it meeting some new peeps and finally arrive at the match a little late.

Our next 4-5 hours was spent being confused about tennis lingo, watching the boys, and trying to ignore the cold.

Game Over. We won. On the road again. Stopped at Zaxby's. On the road again. Sister driving. Not paying attention. Wrong turn. Thought we were in North Carolina. Thought we were in Atlanta. Thought we were in Tennessee. Got detoured. Passed the same town 7 times. Lost for 2 hours. Freezing Fog! Gassed up 4 more times. Make it home hours later. Pass out in bed.

Great Carefree Day.
One of  our best roadtrips thus far.

Listening to Three Legged Fox

the day i didnt get out of bed

I want to be writing a poem about the person who gives me butterflies while sitting on a giant rock by the river. I want to be jumping on my parents trampoline in 90 degrees weather. I want to be waiting in a line of O.A.R. fans ready to race for front row. I want to be driving aimlessly with my sister, listening to "summertime" by sublime, no map, windows down. I want to be "that girl" again. I want to dress like a hippie everyday. I want to be sitting in bed with Nicole along with a gallon of ice cream, chips and salsa, cookie dough & cheese watching House. I want to be smoking mango hookah with my best girlfriends at the river around midnight, just us and 4 candles. I want to be buying a stack of books at books a million. I want to be sneaking back into the house at 5:00 AM. I want to be dancing on stage. I want to be hemping on the beach. I want to be showering in the rain at bonnaroo.

You were good to me Summer 2009.

Listening to 311, Pepper, Bob Marley & Ben Harper

communication

something we are lacking

vent/words for peeps

Dude,
don't talk crap about me,
proceed to show your face in my house,
act like we are best buds,
and then talk more crap.

Dude #2,
you messed up
i don't trust you

Dudes 3, 4, 5,
grow up.
that's all

Miss Sassy & M Slice,
step up

I have never lost my cool like I did last night. And I hope I never do again. But dang... that was not cool. not cool. Sorry to everyone that got caught up in my temper tantrum, that was not the right way to handle things.

i always forget

People Lie.
Friendships Die.
Never Get Attached.

to him:

Not really sure why we don't talk anymore. I'm assuming it is my fault somehow. But I have alot of things on my mind right now that I wish I could tell you. Like how much you inspire me and other ramblings. I often wonder if I still cross your mind. Because I am reminded of you everyday by things like this stupid dinosaur on my computer and waking up after an insane dream that I want to interpret. Yes, I miss seeing you. Yes, I crave your words. But this must be right. This is where we are supposed to be. 
You once wrote about how you would one day become only a memory. I never believed it, until now.

these are words i need to say to him. words i think about every night. words that i will never be able to say so they came bursting out on here. make sense of them as you feel.

"Bless Your Heart"

Is this really just an expression of empathy? Or is it just southerners trying to be polite when they really want to say something rude? "Awh look at that poor lady trying to jog around the track, bless her heart."
Any nasty remark sounds better with a "bless your heart" follow up. "Your life sucks, bless your heart."
Be thankful next time someone tells you "bless your heart," at least they still care enough to follow up with it!

Take It Easy

6 months ago I was a different girl.
6 months ago I had a fiance.
6 months ago I lived with my parents.
6 months ago I worked 40 hours a week.
6 months ago I did not know how to "go with the flow."
6 months ago I had never touched alcohol.
6 months ago I did not have an open mind.
6 months ago I knew exactly where my life was going.

During these 6 months, yes, I have lost more of my innocence but I have gained experience. And with true knowledge and understanding I have changed my perspective. No longer am I on the fast track, I'm takin' it easy. Why rush through college, work for the man, get married, spend all your money on diapers, and then look back and only remember yourself stressing to get ahead? Now I have a life goal to live free. I want to experience all the good and bad life has to offer. Forget my planner, instead I want to live for the moment. Less work, more play. No more saving 80% of my paycheck, let's go buy some liquor and zaxby's! Goodbye relationships, hello independance. I don't no where my life is headed, no worries, I'm enjoying the ride and takin' it easy.

Thank you  Bonnaroo for channeling my inner peace child years ago. Mind, body and soul- all open for new experiences.

7 minutes

Today I watched the snow fall in a coffee shop.
I was sinking into the huge cushioned chair that sat in a corner of peaceful isolation, as my mind drifted away from the day's worries. Listening to the mellow music, I pretended like I was in one of those collectable snow globes. The smell of the strong coffee filled my nose and became the only thing keeping me from escaping to the land of dreams. 
I needed this moment to myself. I would stay longer and enjoy the self hypnosis therapy but 7 minutes was all I could spare from my day...

Happy Valentine's Day World

My Best Friend, Ever.

Lillie Kate.

Feeling Down?

I'm sharring some laughter.
maybe this will help, click here!
Cheer Up!

alone

Finally. It has happened. And it feels so good. I'm sure I feel almost as a junky does when he gets his fix after a long sober week. My mind is rejuvenated and my body has energy. Some people feed off of others and get energy from socializing, not me. People actually exhaust me. Day after day they have been here. But finally I'm alone. Just me and my thoughts and at the moment I'm on this amazing "free your mind" high.

Listening to: Copeland

BONNAROO

This years' lineup came out today and I cant stop thinking about past trip experiences & how this year will go. I wish I were packing up to leave tomorrow. But sadly I'm not...I have class, then work, then homework and repeat. I should really go to bed. More to come on Bonnaroo later. Chow!

Picture taken at Bonnaroo 08'

Listening to: Beach House

my goodness i miss you

"there are a few things i need to say
like how i miss the way your head fits between my shoulder and chest. how no matter how mad at you i ever get i cant stay mad. how all i want to do is look into your eyes and tell you how much you still mean to me. i want to waste an entire day just laying in bed with you watching crap on tv. i want to slow dance with you. i want you to try and give me chocolate even though i dont want it. and most of all i want rub your shoulders. "

Hey, let's just be honest...

Life is messy. We all make mistakes. Sex is better in the middle of the night. You don't really know what you want. I hold grudges. Little white lies do a fanstaic job at covering up the truth. The truth eventually comes out. Friendships die. Tomorrow is waiting. Go for it.

Listening to: mix made by J. Harvie

Last Night

Telling Lies.

Being Artistic.

Kissing Girls.

Giggling.

Telling Secrets.

Bad Dancing.

1,000 Lovers

“I soon knew where every painting in Europe could be found and I managed to get there, even if I had to spend hours going to a little country town to see only one.”

“They depicted people making love in various positions, and of course I was very curious and wanted to try them all out myself.” - Peggy Guggenheim

 

Born in New York.
Moved to Venice.
Predominant  Interests: Art & Sex
I want to live a legendary life like Peggy.
Today, I am adding her book,Confessions of an Art Addict, to my wish list.